I have to admit that this weekend was a trying one. Not because it was Mother's Day and my kids woke me up early but because when I went down to our bedroom on Saturday after work I noticed water on our bedroom floor. Ugh, *sigh*, eye roll. Are you kidding me? I asked my daughter to go get her father, who promptly had what can almost be referred to as a "man"-trum. "Why does this always happen? When are we going to get ahead? etc"
I tried to keep a cool head. So far as we can see it, the septic system either backed up into our bedroom, or there is a leaky pipe to the septic system. Either way you slice it... EWWWW!
SO! Instead of having a relaxing Saturday afternoon off, we spent the time relocating our room upstairs between the kids rooms. Joy! I mean really? Why should they have to go all the way downstairs to wake me up when they can just open their door? Once again, UGH!
First thing Monday morning I was on the phone with Angie's Pooper Pumping Service. (Awesome name, I know!) Not only were they there within the hour, the whole job was done shortly after 11 and I was still able to run my errands. I'm hopeful that all we needed was the pump the tanks. Cross your fingers for us and say a little prayer!
A good friend at church reminded me that "this too shall pass" and that God has us in his hands.
A little over a year ago I was a stay at home mom. Not because I wanted to be. I had left my previous job after being diagnosed with depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I was shocked by that last one. PTSD? Me? Didn't that happen to people who actually experienced things? It didn't occur to me that watching my mother fail until she finally passed was a bad experience. After all, people fail and pass on everyday. Needless to say, I was at home with our youngest and I was bitter.
I didn't think I had a purpose or that I was useful because I wasn't working. I wasn't being a contributing member to society. Being a mom, that's not contributing anything.. right? WRONG! Being a mom is an all day, everyday, nights, weekends and holidays kind of job. But that's where my thought pattern was. Forgive me.
"If only I could get a job at the pharmacy. It would be a good place to work." (There's that thinking stuff again)
Well I did get a job there after our son started school. At first I loved it. I loved the people, my coworkers, just the idea of having a job. I was a contributing member of society again!!! (I actually remember saying this to my counsellor when I saw her in there one day.) I planned... and I achieved.
About a month ago I got myself into trouble. I asked an irate customer to leave. Apparently you can't do that. I didn't realize. This lead to a downward spiral of what I like to refer to as "Stinkin' Thinkin'". I damaged my rep... bad. I'm part of the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study right now and it's because of this study that I came to a place where I realized I'd done wrong. That this stinkin' thinkin' had gotten me into a place of just plain bitterness. Again?!?!?
I also realize that I now need to humble myself and apologize for my previous actions. Geez, there's nothing like God showing you where you're wrong... but then to have to humbly apologize UGH! It's not my favourite but I will because I know it's the right thing to do.
Has stinkin' thinkin' ever gotten you down? How did you overcome it?
You know the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side? This is my attempt to find greener grass right where I am in my life.
BTW - I'm the one on the right, just in case you didn't already know that.