Lately I have been having problems getting to sleep. Maybe it's the baseball games and being so sore afterward. (Man! I really gotta get in shape!) Maybe it's everything that can happen during my day in the pharmacy. Maybe it's because there is a lot going on with people I know. Or who knows, maybe it's just the stupid mosquito near my ear. Whatever it is my mind is going a mile a minute.
Then I have this thought. What if I stopped focusing on all the bad/sad/upsetting and started focusing my attention behind me? What if I rolled over and started to change one thing in my life for the better? Even something great can be made into something better.
Let's face facts here. After a long day the last thing I want to do is show affection to my husband. Call me callous or insensitive but at that point in the day all my focus is on rejuvenating myself. I guess I'm just selfish. But am I alone? So many times I feel so stretched thin that I barely even have the desire to pour desire into my marriage. I'm already exhausted, and marriage takes effort. Oh goodness... I do sound like a terrible person. It's not my intention, I promise.
Lately it's like my husband and I are completely different planes. We're like room mates who pass each other briefly, talk about how the day is going and head off to the next thing. So maybe we just need to change our focus.
You know the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side? This is my attempt to find greener grass right where I am in my life.
BTW - I'm the one on the right, just in case you didn't already know that.